An Uncertain Life
Growing Up Gay and Southern Baptist
By Charles Michael Brill
Discover "An Uncertain Life"
An Uncertain Life takes us on one young man's remarkable journey from self-loathing to acceptance of who God created him to be. Raised in the South during the Civil Rights era, he wanted nothing more than to please God. As a child he faced difficult challenges that left him distressed, contributing to his growing sense of worthlessness because who he was wasn't pleasing to God, he believed. As he came to know of God's love for him, he began a long journey of self-discovery and acceptance. In that process he also realized God's Love was for all. And that we are to love our neighbors, especially those marginalized by our society, as Jesus taught us.
Praise for "An Uncertain Life"
Michael Brill's An Uncertain Life is an intimate memoir of coming out. Reading the book felt like being invited to listen to a favorite uncle tell a story that included edge of the seat, heart rending, private tales, ultimately leading to redemption. From the ‘dark night' to the ecstasy of freedom in fully owning who he is, the book takes the reader on a journey of emergence, much like watching an ugly caterpillar evolving into a beautiful butterfly. Through a very personal and intimate lens, Michael Brill has documented a turning point in the life of the Southern Baptist Convention and her
institutions while telling his personal struggle of coming out as gay. It is his Damascene journey toward full acceptance of himself as a beloved child of God.
-Jonathan Rudy, PeaceBuilding
Global Senior Consultant, and author,
Sand In My Shoes.
This book is Mike’s story, but it’s so many other people’s stories too. It’s the story of anyone who has ever been the outsider in their family, the one who swims upstream, who doesn’t fit in. It’s the story of anyone who has ever had trouble finding their place in this world. It’s the story of anyone with a big heart that breaks open for people in need, people who are told they feel too much and too deeply for this harsh world. This is the story of anyone who has ever had to hide their true identity, anyone raised with rigid expectations, anyone who didn’t feel like they could safely live an authentic life.
But this is also the story of anyone with a deep and abiding faith in God, a relationship that’s honest and gritty, one that sometimes feels like God’s nowhere to be found, but in our core, we know we are loved so deeply beyond our wildest dreams. Mike invites the reader to pull up a chair and find our place in his story, and at the end, one can’t help but be deeply inspired and encouraged about the future. Life is hard and messy and those who are supposed to love us the most often hurt us the worst. But Mike reminds us that we are a resilient people and if we can persevere, work hard, and have courage, then love, fulfillment, and belonging, can be found just a little further down the road.
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-Rev. Dr. Angela Wells-Bean, Senior Pastor of Pass-a-Grille Beach Community Church, UCC
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Michael Brill’s autobiographical novel, An Uncertain Life: Growing Up Gay and Southern Baptist, is an amazing literary work of art that weaves together the dangers of homophobia in a White Supremacist culture with the tragic, and at times humorous, journey to find meaning and joy in life.
Brill’s narrative beautifully illustrates life as a gay man in a post Jim Crow South, and his struggles of seeking acceptance and love in a Southern Baptist community. Most importantly, An Uncertain Life provides hope for a new generation of people caught off-guard by the rise of a new oppressive MAGA culture and power structure.
This is a must-read, because history, in many ways, is repeating itself.
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- Rev. Dr. Guillermo Márquez-Sterling
Author of Killing the Butterfly
We’ve all met this guy; a happy, popular, conservative Southern Baptist, full of charm and funny stories. Mike didn’t “come out of the closet,” as much as he came kicking and dragging his feet, hanging desperately on to one more sweet girlfriend. But in this book, we get to hear the inside story, not just of the struggle, but of the careful step-by-step study of Scripture, seeking of counsel, and examination of his own heart. I’ve known Mike for years. If you like a good story, or need your own path through the wilderness, you don’t want to miss Mike Brill’s book.
-Marsha Stevens-Pino, author, professional Christian Musician and song writer.
Mike Brill’s “An Uncertain Life: Growing Up Gay and Southern Baptist,” is a
moving, authentic memoir that is so very familiar, and so uniquely told.
Mike’s journey growing up poor, southern, fundamentalist and gay is at
times harrowing, poignant and triumphant. He reveals tender family
secrets, and tales of bullying and abuse that make one wonder how he
survived.
Mike contextualizes his story in the historical and political events that have
shaped many decades. He comes out of fundamentalism and into a new
intellectual and social awareness that encompasses race, gender and
class. He gives credit to many influential teachers and writers, some well-
meaning but flawed therapists; and finally, to “God and grace,” for saving
him, and preparing him for a whole life, full of love and church and
friendship. His story is the story of our community, or overcoming, of
becoming awake to God and grace.
​
-Rev. Dr. Nancy Wilson
Michael Brill’s story is as raw as it is redemptive. With honesty and courage, he invites us into the painful, complicated journey of growing up gay in a Southern Baptist world—and the grace-filled path of becoming whole. An Uncertain Life is more than one man’s memoir; it is a beacon of hope for anyone who has wrestled with faith, identity, and belonging. I was moved by its candor, inspired by its resilience, and grateful for its witness.
- Eric Elnes, author, Gifts of the Dark Wood
Reviews from Amazon
Enjoyable Read
5 out of 5, published 2/11/26
"An easy read because it is so well written. It's an enjoyable read with a purpose. And since I grew up in the south I can relate to the historical context of Mike's personal story."
- Wayne
HOPE AND LOVE
5 out of 5, published 2/12/26
"This world, socially conservative, Southern, and Baptist was unknown to me until I met the Author and learned his story through An Uncertain Life. It was fascinating how one can grow up with such a different world view than I and be from the same country. As a gay man myself, I was never bothered by my sexuality. I was also never confronted with outright racism and/or homophobia. I missed so much of the struggle of coming out that Charles Michael Brill experienced yet I can relate to his struggle for self-acceptance. My background, which is very different than his, had its own share of challenges. So while the experiences are different, the truth of being your real self is the same. I liked his view that God's love is forever! Right now, the country seems to be trying to return to yesteryear. My view is for us to move forward not backward! For me, I like his challenge to live with HOPE and COURAGE to be your authentic self, regardless of what others think."
- Rich
Heartwarming, heartbreaking, and authentic memoir!
5 out of 5, published 2/11/26
"Mike Brill takes us on his life journey of trying to find his place in a world that is often confusing,
painful, and discriminatory, yet spiritual and hopeful. The book describes life as a gay man living in Southern Baptist traditions, and his struggle to reconcile that with his own identity. As he wrestles with his homosexuality and his faith, his life takes many turns but ultimately leads him to a place of peace, belonging, and love. It’s a story of persistence and hope, and one that must be read and shared!"
- Sally
Reviews from Goodreads
5 out of 5, published 2/13/26
"This book is as poignant as it is timely! I spent my afternoon reading An Uncertain Life. Some parts left me teary-eyed like “Fresh-man.” It leads me to hope that this work will help others not to accept blame for actions of others. I found the book fascinating and terrifying! It’s spooky that aspects of the Civil Rights Movement described, remind me of the terrible things happening now and the ideology/theology behind them."
- Natalia Marquez-Sterling
5 out of 5, published 2/02/26
"Mike Brill’s refreshingly honest memoir is a coming-of-age story on many levels. As the subtitle reflects, growing up gay and Southern Baptist presented significant challenges to his maturation. But this is not just about adolescent angst. It is equally a story of growing into faith maturity and learning that certainty and having all the answers is not the key to following the Spirit’s path of continuing creation and constant surprise. Follow Mike as he reflects on the challenges and joys of an uncertain life. The book also offers a helpful list of resources and biblical reflections that can assist faithful Christians as they grow into more mature relationships with LGBTQIA+ sisters and brothers."
-Ted Huffman
5 out of 5, published 2/14/26
"Even though my upbringing was far different than this man’s experience, it opened my eyes to the plight that many of us had to endure as children and into adulthood and that it takes courage to keep moving forward and not to give up. This book helps me to see that God loves me despite so many in society being so unloving. A great read for everyone."
- Rick McDonald
Reviews from Barnes and Noble
I couldn’t put it down!
5 out of 5, published 2/14/26
"This compelling memoir filled me with hope and admiration. Michael’s journey to coming out as a gay man is a testament to his deep faith and love of God. It’s a must read!"
- Cita356
Heartwrenching and heartwarming memoir!
5 out of 5, published 2/12/26
"In his memoir, Mike Brill takes us on his life journey of trying to find his place in a world that is often confusing, painful, and discriminatory, yet spiritual and hopeful. The book describes life as a gay man living in Southern Baptist traditions, and his struggle to reconcile that with his own identity. As he wrestles with his homosexuality and his faith, his life takes many turns but ultimately leads him to a place of peace, belonging, and love. It’s a story of persistence and hope, and one that must be read and shared!"
- Sallye
Beautifully Written and Deeply Moving
5 out of 5, published 2/04/26
"An Uncertain Life takes readers on a journey through the highs and lows of a young man searching for his place in the world, ultimately leading to a deeper understanding of the true Father’s love. We walk beside him through moments of triumph and growth, witnessing both his joys and his struggles. The book offers an intimate portrait of a child becoming a man and discovering what it truly means to be a son of God. From the very beginning, it draws you in—you find yourself cheering for him while also feeling the weight of his internal pain and conflict. Beautifully written and deeply moving, this book is highly recommended for anyone wrestling with faith, self-worth, their place in the world, or their sexuality."
- Anonymous